Barikada
- World Of Music - Svastara - 2007 |
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VAN STONE
P o r t r a i t
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Van Stone's T-Shirt
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Van Stone's T-Shirt |
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Van Stone
P o r t r a i t |
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Van Stone is rock / rock / rock band from Palmdale, California,
United States of America.
Van Stone is Palmdale's number 3 rock band, right behind number 1 - Skirge,
and number 2 - Wind Jammer. DUH! Now, the only way we're ever gonna catch Skirge
is if all you Van Stoniacs pull together and help us raise money for a van...
My mom said we can't borrow her Nissan Sentra anymore, 'cuz the last time we
used it to haul all the ekwipment to the gig we scratched her roof with "Terry" (our
six foot stainless steel lazer skull.) Now I got all you Stoniacs beggin' me
to play here and there and promisin' that you'll let me skrew your sister and
shit. BUT WE AIN'T GOT NO WHEELS!!... So if you want us to come to yer shit
hole town then get off yer asses and buy our debut album: Van Stone I... and
while yer at it pick up a t-shirt... the shipping is still the same, so you
save money... and you could save a life too... Our shirts have been approved
by the American Medical Response association for use as an emergency tourniquet...
and that's one to grow on. LIVE STONED!
We've had a lot of you Van Stoniacs askin':
Where this band came from? and Who are they? So I did some digging around
and this is what I found out: Van Stone is Palmdales #3 rock band, right behind
#1 Skirge and #2 Wind Jammer Duh.
Randy and Lonnie Van Stone are
fraternal twin brothers that live
at home with their mom. They met
Glenn Wolfe in high school, he taught
them how to get high by sniffing
Soft Scrub and other bathroom
cleaning products. A few years back, while throwing rocks at a light pole down
at the train tracks, they hooked up with a drummer, Alexis Patinkov, aka Mr.
Bonze. He's originally from the former Lithuania and speaks no English,
but wow can he drum. That night, they decided to form a mercenary group like
the "A-team" and
fight bad dudes, help
over throw South American governments, and bang Hot Chix! After, being denied
several times for gun licenses and unable to find a large black dude with a
mohawk that could weld. They decided to go to plan B: FORM A BAND, this way
they could still at least bang Hot Chix and maybe, if they tour through South
America over throw a government! They found a guitar dude named BC Rich, maybe
you've heard of him, that's right the legendary BC Rich, turns out he lives
right here in Palmdale. They wrote songs based on Freedom and the American
way: sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. They created a sound that will be used to
score the apocalypse.
Everything was cool, until tragedy struck! BC lost his hand
in meat grinding accident. (NOTE TO KIDS: don't try to make homemade gourmet
sausages while
taking on prescription narcotics and watching
Nanny 911.) So they found another guitar player. His name's Cliff Stienberger,
that's right of the famous Stienberger guitars, another legendary guitar player.
Who knew that many guitar legends lived in Palmdale? A lot people mistake Cliff
for a skinhead but he's actually just a bald guy that shaves it tight, like
Bruce Willis. When are comb-overs going to be punk again? Anyway, if you know
any large black dudes with a mowhawk that can weld . Send him Van Stone's way.
Because one of these days, when you're in trouble, and you've got no one else
to turn to. You may need to call on: Van Stone (Randy Van Stone - lead vox;
Bert Van Stone - rhythm guitar; Blackie Sawyer - lead bass; Pfc. Kurt Gibson
- lead lead guitar;
Cliff Steinberger - lead guitar; Mr. Bonze - lead drums).
Van Stone's debut album - "Bootleg"
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Van Stone
1. Palmdale U.S.A.
2. We're Van Stone
3. Partay Harday
4. $25 Blow Job
5. Beer Run!
6. M.I.L.F.
7. Testicles
8. Don't Ever Leave Me
9. Wake-N-Bake
10. Skate Town
11. Spring Break Forever
12. Rock-N-Roll In Our Bonze
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Van Stone's debut album - "Bootleg"
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